The Doomed And The Dreamer
by Venjess
Summary: You just want to protect the one you love, but it seems that no matter what you do, you fail them Rated T for language and character death First part is Karezi, second part KatNep
1. Part One: Karezi

**I don't think I really like how this was written.**

**It's okay but nyeh.**

**It's a bit too erratic and it jumps all over the place, so I think that all of my Homestuck fanfics will be written differently in the future.**

**I'm honestly too lazy to rewrite this, and I also have the first chapter of my Homestuck oneshot requests things written, but other than that one chapter and this story, I think I'll try to make them a bit more story-like and not so jumping around.**

**This style of writing is fun, but not anything like my usual style and I don't think I've done a very good job with it.**

**As you can see, I decided to hell with long chapters and am now simply combining all the Karezi chapters into one part and all the KatNep chapters into one part. So yeah.**

**I don't own Homestuck.**

**Warnings for language, major character death and violence.**

**I don't think there's anything else that needs warnings so... enjoy!**

* * *

** Introduce yourself**

Your name is KARKAT VANTAS, you are the leader of a group of assholes half of which can't even fucking follow a set of orders right and the other half don't even try; it's a tough job but none of these other bulgemunchers would be able to do it right so you have made the almighty sacrifice and placed yourself in this position for the good of the game.

You are currently waiting in your reprehensible LAND OF PULSE AND HAZE for one of your fellow teammates TEREZI PYROPE who is quite possibly one of the biggest nooksniffers you have ever had the displeasure of knowing.

To be completely honest, she's probably better than some of the other fucking nookstains you are finding yourself stuck working with for this game. But that's not saying much so whatever.

**Karkat: Get back on topic**

You drag yourself back to the issue at hand with the grace of a fucking white honkbeast.

Yes, you are the honkbeast. It is you.

**Karkat: Okay this is stupid, look at all the stuff you're not noticing**

Look at that Terezi's here now and you didn't even notice, great job asshole, way to show off your impressive leadership skills and amaze the girl.

**Karkat: Be charming**

You are currently too busy looking at Terezi to be charming in any way or form.

You find that you are feeling somewhat surprised by her appearance, she was nothing you may have imagined, and yet everything you may have imagined. Oh, she's laughing now.

**Karkat: Stay cool**

You are failing in your attempt to keep a cool head, her laugh is creepy as fuck and you're feeling somewhat intimidated. You find yourself uncomfortably reminded that even if she's beautiful, this is the girl that enjoys hanging scalemates from the tree branches in her spare time.

Wait a second.

**Karkat: Stop that train of thought for a moment**

The train of thought is stopped. It is so stopped it has fucking derailed and burst into spontaneous flames so furious and deadly that no one survived and it went down in history as the most horrifying disaster to have ever occurred in public transport.

**Karkat: Deny that you ever thought she was attractive in any way or form**

Terezi? Attractive? Ha! Haha!

You find this girl to be so completely unattractive that in a roundabout way she is actually rather pretty. Her horns aren't obnoxiously large, her hair is glossy and suits her surprisingly well and her teeth are clearly well looked after so you can ignore the fact that they look dangerously sharp, which admittedly mustn't be very comfortable for kissing.

**Karkat: Okay do everyone a favour and stop thinking**

You obey the strange voice in your thinkpan which is probably actually your common sense, and you clamp down on any thoughts that may or may not be entertaining notions of kissing her.

There is absolutely no way that your conversations over pesterchum have been enough to stir feelings for this troll in any quadrant what so ever. These feelings remain- and will remain- unstirred.

Besides, you are the master of romance, and you _know_ you don't just start flushing for someone from a few chats. Okay yeah, she also saved your life when the game first started, and she's been pretty helpful and shit, but this is the first time you've met face to face. You acknowledge that there is the romantic notion of flush at first sight which you yourself wouldn't mind experiencing once. But not here, there's no way you're flushed for anyone, least of all Terezi.

That's just stupid.

"Let's go adventuring," you finally say, unable to think of anything else, and no, that was not even vaguely lame.

You are the leader, there is absolutely no way anything you do could be anything less great than fucking awesome.

And anyone who says otherwise can go fuck themselves.

* * *

Your name is KARKAT VANTAS and you have been wandering through your LAND OF PULSE AND HAZE for a few days now with your companion TEREZI PYROPE.

The other troll has been surprisingly helpful and you are forced to concede that she actually isn't useless.

Not that you didn't already believe that.

**Karkat: Thank the girl for helping you**

What? No fuck that, that's not a thing that will ever exist.

**Karkat: Kiss her as a thank you instead**

That is even less of a thing that will happen; it is so not a thing that it is a negative thing. It a billion fucking negative things and it will not be happening.

**Karkat: Kiss her**

No.

**Karkat: Kiss the girl**

No fuck that, fuck off, it's not happening.

**Karkat: Make it happen**

That is a negative, you will not make it happen.

Oh look, it's a cave, what a convenient distraction.

**Karkat: Okay whatever, go look in the cave then or something you immature little shit**

You are COMPLETELY MATURE as you head over to the cave, Terezi is following you, an amused leer on her face as she allows you to lead.

You peer into the darkness ahead, it is definitely not some monstrous imposing cavern, but it is almost intimidatingly dark. It is so completely devoid of light that it is like a pitch black meowbeast. Okay fuck that sentence whatever, it's not like you're being payed to make clever metaphors.

It's… as dark as Terezi's soul, there, you are a fucking genius and so clearly not flushed for her, there's no way you'd be able to think something about her like that if you had feelings tinged even vaguely with red. Though, she isn't really _that_ bad you have to admit. She saved your life after all, and she's pretty awesome when she stops being weird. Of course, that weird part of her has been becoming oddly endearing lately you suppose, you almost think you like it; it makes her quirky, unique, and… _her_.

**Karkat: Just go into the cave already if you aren't planning on getting over your denial**

The inside of the cave suddenly looks very inviting, you move to head forwards when you hear Terezi's voice, oddly subdued, "Karkat," she says, giving you a strangely concerned look, "I don't think we should go into this cave," she tells you simply.

You hesitate.

Terezi is creepy and you certainly don't fucking appreciate her tendency to lick things, but she also knows what she's doing. She's clever, and to be honest, probably knows more about her powers already than anyone else.

You turn back to the cave entrance, you don't want to say no to her, but you have a feeling that there is something important down there and you _are_ the leader, it's not like you're incompetent or anything.

Terezi notices your indecision and sighs, she reaches into her pocket and you frown, wondering what she is up to. The frown deepens as she holds up a coin in her hand, "how about we do this Karkat? You turn away, don't look as I flip this coin, if it lands on heads, we'll do it your way and go into the cave, if we do it tails, we'll leave this place and not come back, deal?" You cross your arms, "how do I know you won't just _say_ its tails so that we leave? If I'm not looking I can't check."

"Karkat," she says softly, "just trust me, _please_," you sigh, but you know that you'll agree, because despite everything you trust her, you trust her to know what she's doing.

You turn your back on her, your sharp auricular sponge clots pick up the metallic _'ping'_ made when she flicks the coin into the air, and the light, tinkling clatter created as it hits the ground.

There is a moment's pause, then, "heads," you stiffen with surprise, turning to look at Terezi who had already placed the coin back in her pocket. You nod firmly, like a leader, "then we go check out the cave."

* * *

Your name is KARKAT VANTAS and you are- okay fuck that, who the fuck needs an introduction all the time anyway? You are KARKAT VANTAS and you will remain KARKAT FUCKING VANTAS, there is never going to be a time when that is not who you are. Except for the times when you aren't.

**Karkat: Pretend that made sense and move on**

You are moving on, you have moved on so completely that you have moved to another fucking planet, this planet isn't a repulsive hellhole full of red fucking blood and thus it is immediately a thousand times better than your planet.

Okay, you actually haven't gone anywhere.

You are still stumbling around through a cave underneath a hill, wandering aimlessly like a set of lost wrigglers. You get out your Homes Smell Ya Later sickle, feeling somewhat reassured by its familiar weight.

Terezi's presence is also comforting, but let's not think about that.

**Karkat: Don't think about the pretty troll girl who is currently very close to you**

You are trying very hard not to think about the pretty troll girl who is walking very close to you. The tunnel is dark, but tinged scarlet as a result of glowing red blood, running through veins in the walls. Yes. GLOWING.

Fuck this game and its absolute lack of anything making sense.

"We've started to go up," you hear, and you grumble a curse under your breath, you had almost been able to forget about the fact that you were walking right next to Terezi Pyrope, that you were close enough to brush your arm against hers if you wanted, or reach out and take her hand…

**Karkat: ABORT**

You snatch your hand back as you realised you had begun reaching towards hers; you did NOT want to hold hands with anyone, especially not Terezi.

**Karkat: Finally interpret the meaning of Terezi's earlier words**

You pause as the meaning of Terezi's words finally sink into your thick thinkpan.

Terezi pauses too, turning back to look at you with question clearly writ on her face; you huff grumpily, "come on," you order, starting to walk again and passing her.

And no you did _not_ notice when your arm brushed hers. That was not a thing that happened at all. Completely not.

**Karkat: Think**

In light of what you've been thinking about recently, you are somewhat reluctant to surrender yourself to the inner queries of your thinkpan, but you find yourself wondering anyway about why the tunnel could be moving up and if this means you're going to come out somewhere interesting.

Despite yourself, you are feeling somewhat curious.

* * *

You step out of the cave without so much as a single introduction as to who you are; everyone knows already, you've said it about fifty times.

The sudden onslaught of red makes you want to tear out your look stubs and vomit up your own protein storage system, but then Terezi cackles delightedly and you turn to see her walking around, sniffnode in air, practically _drooling_ as she sniffed; "red," she was repeating, in a giddily happy manner and you roll your lookstubs at her.

Not that she sees.

It's the thought that counts anyway.

You stride forward further into the room, leaving Terezi to indulge in her fantasies. Not like you gave a fuck what she did, at all. If she wanted to wander around in a stupor for the rest of her life, trapped in a candy apple red-induced state of placid foolishness then that was her business, not yours.

"Come on, Terezi, stop wandering around looking like a fucking wriggler, we've got to keep going, I want to see what's ahead," she ignores you and you growl in irritation before stomping over to her and grabbing her hand in yours and dragging her behind you.

"Hey Karkat, guess what," you turn back to Terezi, waiting patiently as she gives you a look, as though she has something important to say. Yeah right, you don't even want to know.

"What?" you ask, and you hate yourself just a little more as the word slips out. She's grinning at you now, a large grin with lots of teeth; after she doesn't say anything for a few moments you realise she is trying to tease you again, playing another one of her fucking mind games. It seems she is attempting to test your patience.

Well fuck that, you can completely beat her in this little game of hers, you don't even _want_ know, you're doing this to humour her, you're not even vaguely curious about what she has to say. Not at all. You can completely win this. Easily.

"Just fucking tell me Terezi," you order, glaring at her irritably and she grins like she won, which you suppose she did.

Not that you were trying to be serious about any of this or anything.

Whatever, you just really want to know what Terezi has to say now.

**Karkat: Learn Terezi's secret and be completely thinkpan-blown**

Your thinkpan has been blown, it is now in a thousand fucking chunks all over the walls and oozing out of your ears like one of those fucking red waterfalls you noticed when you first arrived. Stupid fucking game.

Except it isn't really because you aren't even vaguely shocked by what you learn.

Because Terezi Pyrope has just informed you that red is her favourite colour. And while maybe this information would have been able to at least squeeze out a somewhat interested response, this is not news to you. You cannot even pretend to be surprised as you have already been told this by Terezi no less than several times today.

You have to wonder why the fuck she would like that vomit-inducing colour.

**Karkat: Notice the strange noise**

You are suddenly aware of a strange noise, it is a somewhat disconcerting noise to you since it seems to be echoing around the area, you glance at Terezi whose smile has dropped slightly, you are aware of the fact that she is perfectly capable of defending herself, and yet, you find yourself reaching out once more to take her hand in a tight grip, for reassurance, you decide.

She doesn't seem to mind.

**Karkat: Keep moving**

You can't ignore the feeling inside of you that its best you keep moving forward, you feel certain that there's something ahead that you need to find. Dragging Terezi behind you, you walk on, trying to ignore the menacing sounds echoing around the area.

You are pretty sure you're going to regret this.

* * *

The growling hasn't stopped, but that is currently at the back of your mind because you've reached the end, you know now why you felt you should keep going, because in front of you is what is unmistakeably your Quest Cacoon, and you allow yourself a moment's satisfaction because you'd found yours before anyone else had.

You start forward and Terezi's grip tightens, you pause, looking back at her, she's motionless, auricular sponge clots twitching, eyebrows furrowed and you know that she's listening to the growling.

With a sigh you let go of her hand, she isn't willing to move and you just want to get a quick look at your Quest Cacoon, you can deal with the source of the sound in a moment, if it hasn't attacked either of you yet, it's probably because it's waiting for something.

Okay that thought actually wasn't all that comforting.

**Karkat: Go to your Quest Cacoon**

You are completely going to do that.

In fact, you are already doing it; you are currently in the process of walking towards your Quest Cacoon, Terezi is refusing to come closer and you suppose it is because she wants to allow you to fully appreciate the moment because wow, you actually fucking found your fucking Quest Cacoon.

You stop in front of it, shooting a glance to Terezi who says nothing, simply watches (smells? Fuck, you don't even _know_ how that works, whatever). She seems incredibly ill at ease and finally you sigh, "Terezi, why don't you go check out some of the other places around here, okay?" there's a moment's pause in which you see a strange emotion flicker across her face before she leers, "if you say so Karkat," and with those words she turns and walks off.

You roll your lookstubs at her behaviour before turning back to your Quest Cacoon. You sit down on top of it and try to work out how painful it would be for you to simply try to go God Tier right now, or if you should get Terezi to come back and help you, do it for you. You shake that thought aside quickly; you're not some fucking wiggler who's too scared to even kill himself.

You are about to appreciate the true oddity that is that sentence when the growling gets louder, and suddenly some kind of creature seems to almost come out of the wall and how the fuck did it even do th- oh fuck it's huge.

**Karkat: Flip your shit**

You do not flip your shit, your shit remains completely unflippable, sure, there's a massive horned creature in front of you with dripping fangs and a horrifying snarl but you are totally… only a little… perturbed.

Right.

But back to the issue at hand here. The issue at hand being the fact that there is some kind of monster who is now towering over you with the clear intent of causing you harm.

**Karkat: Fight**

You already are, honestly voice-in-sponge, you really need to catch up.

You slice your sickle through the creatures front, jumping back almost immediately, it doesn't even flinch. A large, clawed hand comes down and you try to jump to one side, but you are too slow. You hiss at the pain as you feel the warm wetness of blood spreading across your sleeve.

You are extremely glad that Terezi isn't around at the moment.

Ignoring the pain, you slip forwards, crawling through the creatures legs and burying your sickle into its back as high as you can reach. The creature starts to turn and you bring the sickle down, grimacing at the red blood that splashes out onto your face. Of course it would be that colour. On the plus side, if Terezi happened to come before you could change you could just claim the blood belonged to the creature.

It screeches in pain, you jump back once more, hissing as the sudden movement jostles your injured arm. You realise it is worse than you thought and quickly calculate how much it's going to inhibit your movement in this fight. With a grunt, you run towards the angry beast once more, the injury was hardly going to kill you, you jump at it, raising the sickle in your right hand, it isn't your favoured side, but you were still sufficient in it, and you figure that- for the moment- it is best to not stress the injury too much.

The monster screeches and flails about under your onslaught, you continue to attack it with grim determination, dodging its claws and haphazard attacks. There had never been a chance you would lose, unfortunately for the beast.

You step back for a moment, wincing at the mess; the creature had knocked down rocks and other objects in its panicking, not to mention all the blood. There was that too.

You feel a twinge of regret for having to kill the beast, it was undoubtedly just obeying instinct and attacking someone who it thought was a danger.

With a sigh you hold up the sickle once more, it was suffering a lot, the least you could do was put it out of its misery. Heck, you were already covered in blood, how could a little more hurt?

You edge closer, trying to locate the best place to deliver a final blow; the creature's screeches had quietened to a pained keening that made your ears twitch. Yeah, okay, you were feeling a little bad.

If you didn't do anything, it would die eventually on its own, but it would probably be painful and you are pretty sure you've fucked it up enough what with killing it and everything.

The creature bends over and you are provided with a clear shot at its neck, you creep closer, bent low, one final attack and it would be over. It suddenly stiffens and you jerk back in instinctive response, it turns towards you with fury and pain in its red eyes and you are frozen.

A clawed hand comes down towards you and you are thrown back, gasping at the pain that blossoms from your front. You let out a small cry as you slam into a wall and fall to the ground.

A piteous groan escapes you as you prop yourself up on one elbow. That had been… unexpected.

You watch as the monster stumbles and falls, keening softly and you realise that had been its last move, an attempt at revenge for the one who had doomed it. You can't bring yourself to blame it.

Your head throbs and you wince slightly before something warm drips into your eye and you squeeze it shut. Your hand comes up to feel your forehead, feeling the sticky wetness of blood, "fuck it all."

**Karkat: Get up**

You get to your ho- nope, no you don't, that is not a thing that is actually happening, your thinkpan is currently too busy being fucked up to give you a chance at regaining your balance and standing once more, not to mention your back has seemed to have decided that it doesn't appreciate being thrown into an incredibly hard wall.

Your gaze moves to your Quest Cacoon, you wonder if you would be able to crawl over there, if you get on top if wouldn't matter if you were to actually die.

But crawling was pretty fucking weak, you are a leader, you're not going to _crawl_ to your Quest Cacoon.

**Karkat: Get off your high hoofbeast and just fucking crawl over there already**

Wow okay, no need to be so rude.

You prop yourself up on both elbows and consider attempting to at least sit up, but if the blackening in the edges of your vision were anything to go by then that wasn't an idea that would end well.

You let out a huff before pulling up your knees awkwardly beneath you. You pause for a moment, biting your lip against the urge to cry out. Okay, that actually really hurt.

After a moment you exhale loudly, moving forwards slightly and dragging yourself across the ground. Every time your body moved the bones in your back seemed to scrape against each other in a way you knew couldn't be good.

Okay, you had officially lost any guilt you may or may not have been feeling for that stupid fucking monster.

**Karkat: Stop complaining**

No, fuck that, it actually fucking hurt, if you wanted to bitch about it, then bitch you shall.

After what seemed like sweeps you finally find yourself next to your Quest Cacoon. Your entire body is trembling violently and- fuck how the fuck are you going to get on it?

You grimace and reach up with a hand, fuck this, fuck your life, fuck your stupid decisions and fuck that stupid fuCKING PIECE OF FUCKING FUCK THAT FUCKING DID THIS TO YOU.

Your arm gives out and you fall to the ground once more with a muffled shriek as your entire body flares in agony.

Your arm was a festering pool of pain, your back was the current definition of fucked up and your thinkpan was having issues even forming swearwords.

Okay, this is kind of more than a little bad.

**Karkat: Get onto your Quest Cacoon**

You're trying.

You've tried.

You keep falling.

Everyone has a limit, and you've reached yours.

Your thinkpan is pounding and you know you've lost way to much blood and you want to vomit and you kind of want to cry a little.

Past you is a fucking idiot.

If he had just paused for a moment to fucking think about what would happen if he got too close to the injured beast then you wouldn't be like this.

It's his fault you're in this situation right now. It's his fault you're going to die, so close to your Quest Cacoon. It's his fault.

What a fucking asshole.

* * *

**== Be the candy apple red-coma induced troll girl**

Your name is… wait… what is this… what a strange turn of events. You are no longer KARKAT VANTAS but his companion TEREZI PYROPE. You are known as the SEER OF MIND in the game that you are currently playing and you have recently left behind your adorably grumpy companion to explore under his orders.

You have not found anything particularly interesting yet, however, there is the overwhelming smell of delicious red and it is making you somewhat giddy.

You are still feeling somewhat perturbed about the growling sound, and considering the situation you are now all in, you feel that it is definitely something to be concerned about.

Maybe all of you aren't going to win this session now, but even if it's because of him, you already know that you are going to do everything you can to at least keep Karkat alive for a little bit longer.

You wonder if maybe you should go back there, offer to kill him while he's on his Quest Cacoon so that he can go God Tier. It would be completely pointless to the grand scheme of things, but that didn't matter, you find yourself wanting to help him as best as you can and you don't like the thought of him having to go through something like moving on to God Tier all alone, somehow that seems too horrible a notion.

Though to be honest, the idea of killing him yourself isn't too appealing.

But that didn't matter.

You know that if it could save him, you would be willing to do anything; you would lay your life down for him in an instance.

Yeah fine, you are maybe just a little flushed for your adorable, nubby-horned, grumpy-pants troll leader.

You had been for a while.

You like to think that he returns the feelings. He definitely seems to get easily flustered around you.

**Terezi: Notice the delicious smell**

There are many delicious smells; you are currently surrounded by delicious smells.

**Terezi: Notice the delicious but concerning smell you idiotic shithead**

No need to be so rude.

You cautiously sniff, trying to differentiate between the different colours and regain your orientation when you realise you smell something else. Mixed in with all the red is a stronger scent of candy red, it smells fresh and… alive.

It's coming Karkat's direction.

Panic laces your stomach as you turn back towards area you had left Karkat in, you briefly wonder if maybe he had decided to take advantage of you absence and go God Tier, but somehow, you don't believe that.

**Terezi: Find him**

You rush back in through the archway, hoping that the blood you are smelling isn't his.

You already knew his blood colour, though you had yet to tell him, you like the fact that you know something about him that no one else does.

You pause.

What you have come back to is more horrific than you had imagined.

* * *

**== Be the adorable, grumpy-pants leader**

Your name is KARKAT VANTAS and currently everything is a vaguely off-putting colour of GOLD. It is better than your planet, and you personally have nothing against the colour itself (other than the fact that it's a stupid fucking colour but all colours are like that) however there can be such a thing as too much. And there is definitely too much here.

The entire room is golden, you look out the window to see that yes, the city is also golden.

You look down at your outfit; the only reprieve to the blinding colour is the maroon and red that you are currently wearing. You are completely unamused.

After waking up on Prospit for the first time, you feel your blood drenching you slowly, as though you are dying. Which you suppose you are.

However, it doesn't take long before you feel the pain fading away, leaving you with a peculiar empty feeling before a sense of warmth spreads through your body, leaving it tingling. You are left feeling strong, stronger than you ever had before, as though you could do anything.

So naturally, the first thing you do is flip the fuck out when you see what colour your God Tier outfit is.

This fucking game.

**Karkat: Accept that Past You is a fucking idiot and move on**

You acknowledge that Past You is a moron; however, you decide that he was completely entitled in his action concerning the God Tier outfit.

Though, now that you've come to accept it, you have decided that it is worth having to wear fucking _red_ in the name of being God Tier.

Just.

**Karkat: Whatever, just get over it already**

You choose to ignore the vomit-inducing colours you are currently wearing in favour of inspecting the new world you can see outside your window.

When one goes God Tier they can fly, right?

You decide to test this, leaning out of the window, dangling over the ledge precariously before launching yourself off. Heck, it didn't matter if you _did_ fall and die, you'd wake up again.

You spend a ridiculous amount of time exploring the city of Prospit.

It is only when you have returned to your respiteblock that you pause to wonder how it is that you managed to go God Tier when you had fallen unconscious before you could get up onto your Quest Cacoon.

* * *

**== Be the blind troll girl**

Your name is TEREZI PYROPE and you… you don't feel up for doing an introduction.

You are currently covered in red blood that's delicious smell you are beginning to hate a little. Your cheeks are wet and stained with teal and you are grateful no one is around to see you like this.

You bend down and gently kiss the forehead of the troll who was lying still now, quiet in an unsettling manner. You pull away after a few moments, ignoring the way he is covered in red, ignoring the way you now are too.

You know what you have done was completely useless, but you also know there is no way you could just let him die. You know that in keeping him alive like this, you are dooming him to more suffering, and you don't want to hurt the troll you care for. But you know it will hurt you to lose him.

You know you're being selfish in keeping him with you.

And yet you still dragged him to his Quest Cacoon.

You don't deserve him.

* * *

**== Be the insufferable asshole**

Your name is KARKAT VANTAS and you are _clearly_ not an insufferable asshole since you got your team of _actual assholes_ through the game without anyone dying. Well… dying permanently at least. In fact, almost everyone on your team has managed to go God Tier, one way or another and you personally think that's a pretty big fucking achievement.

So congratulations you.

There are only two nooksniffers in your team that didn't end up ascending to God Tier one way or another. The first is Eridan. There is a simple reason as to why he did not ascend to God Tier. That reason is because he is a fucking bulgemuncher and was too busy pointlessly killing a planet full of fucking angels to fucking look for his _fucking Quest Cacoon_.

But you are so completely not angry about that.

Not at all.

Nope.

You are calm, you are the epitome of calm, you are Gamzee on sopor, you are just so motherfucking chill and you most certainly did not even _consider_ a certain jade blooded troll's offer to cut him in half with her chainsaw and just dump him on his Quest Cacoon.

That was never a thing that happened.

**Karkat: Okay stop fucking around, who was the other person?**

Well the other person was a bit of a surprise for you when you found out; you always figured she would be one of the ones to go God Tier first. But she didn't.

So now, standing next to you, completely mortal and vulnerable (but not any less clever or incredible because of it) is Terezi Pyrope.

You had confronted her about the issue some time ago and after some pestering she had revealed that she hadn't even bothered to search for her Quest Cacoon. After telling you this she had fallen silent and refused to answer any more of your questions.

Throughout the game you had wondered about the defeated expression you'd see her wearing, it hadn't taken you long to come up with a theory and this theory had worried you. But now you're all standing here, in front of the door, you've _won the game_, there's no way you're theory _could_ be right now.

You decide you can talk to Terezi about it all when you get to the new world, you don't like the idea that she isn't happy about something.

You don't want to worry, you don't want to feel these things, and yet you do, it really fucking sucks to be honest, but you guess it was kind of inevitable.

Yeah okay, you admit it; you're kind of flushed for Terezi Pyrope.

You figured this out a while ago, but had decided that halfway through a life-threatening game was not the best time to start a relationship.

So you decided that you would tell her when your new universe had been created.

When everyone's safe and you don't have to worry about defeating any game bosses or climbing any echeladders or advising any nookstains on their romantic exploits.

That's when you'll tell her.

But you're getting ahead of yourself here.

**Karkat: Open the door, enter your new world**

You are just about to do that.

That is a thing that is in the process of happening.

You had merely paused momentarily in order to partake in a second of recollection; however, you decide that it would be best to focus once more on the situation.

You look up at the door, it is glowing, the symbol of the SGrub game you had all played and suffered in, it's huge, and it towers over all of you. It is your symbol of triumph, proof that you have beaten this game, at fucking last.

Proof that your theory is wrong.

You reach forwards to open it, feel the cool metal of the doorknob as it brushes your fingertips. It is at this moment that a strange rumble shakes the ground under your feet, you jerk back from the door slightly as a sudden bright light emerges from it.

You watch as the top half slide of the door, having been sliced in half.

You back away hurriedly, looking up in horror as something emerges from the door.

You can't believe it.

There's something else.

You chance a look at Terezi and the expression on her face makes you falter, _'this isn't meant to be happening, this isn't part of the game'_ you realise.

You turn back to the black, dog-like creature with new eyes.

Watching as it descends you realise you _had_ been right in your theory.

The second you had fucking stopped thinking that, the second you had started to _fucking_ hope, it all went to hell.

You turn and look at Terezi once more and you see that she is holding up her cane, an expression on her face you hadn't ever seen before but understood immediately. The universal expression of 'fuck this, if I'm going down, I'm taking you with me'.

And you understand that you _are_ all going down.

You've lost.

You don't know how it happened.

You don't know why, or what you did wrong but…

Your session is doomed.

And you're willing to bet a fuckton of boondollars that it's probably your fault, one way or another.

**Karkat: Fight**

The fact that you're all doomed doesn't mean shit, you're not just going to go down without a fight and you aren't going to just stand back and watch your friends die. You aren't going to just let _Terezi_ die.

You bring out your Homes Smell Ya Later sickles, reflecting momentarily on all the times you've had to use them.

You turn towards the creature; sickles held loosely in your grasp, a glance at the other trolls shows you that they were prepared for a fight also.

The creature seems to look at each of you in turn, it holds a bloody sword in its clawed hand, large black wings spread out behind it and it seems to crackle with some kind of strange energy.

You see light to your side and turn in time to see Eridan firing his weapon at the creature with a furious yell. A green light seems to engulf the creature and suddenly it's gone.

You whip your head around frantically, confused, turning to shoot Eridan a questioning look; the only response you receive is a shrug.

No help from there then.

You spot the same green light appearing from behind Eridan and you shout out a warning. The words have barely left your lips when the creature materialises, the seadweller turns quickly. But not quickly enough.

You have nothing against the colour violet.

But you certainly don't like the way it splatters across the floor.

You hear a grieved and enraged cry and you know who it is before you even see him charging at the creature.

Gamzee had confided to you his flushed feelings for the violet blood and now it seemed he'd never find out that these feelings were reciprocated.

The creature disappeared once more and appeared behind the troll, slashing at him with his sword.

Gamzee fell to the ground, purple joined violet.

It was the signal for everyone to fight, and you were no exception.

You could tell already that this creature was strong, possibly stronger than any of you. What's more, it had destroyed the door so you didn't know what the fuck you all would do if you _did_ win.

You hear an angry bellow and you know Gamzee's up again already, at least he hadn't died properly, you honestly didn't think it had been either a heroic or just death, so he's fine for the moment. Unfortunately, Eridan isn't moving.

You really wish you had accepted Kanaya's offer to simply dump him on his Quest Cacoon for him.

Fuck it all.

**Karkat: Realise who else isn't God Tier**

Oh no.

Terezi.

* * *

Your name is TEREZI PYROPE and you knew it was too much to hope for to think that maybe, for some strange reason, your DOOMED SESSION would be allowed to continue.

You are currently in the middle of fighting against a strange black creature that had flown out of your new universe before you could enter. You are aware that you are in a slightly more dangerous situation than your fellow God Tier companions, however, that does not prevent you from fighting against the creature with every ounce of strength you possess.

**Terezi: Confess your flushed feelings to you leader**

This is a completely inappropriate time to even be thinking about feelings.

You do not confess you flushed feelings to your grumpy leader.

You don't even know where he is at the moment.

**Terezi: Look around for him**

You back away from the fight to catch your breath, you are currently bleeding from a few wounds. You ignore your injuries, sniffing for that familiar candy red concealed in dull grey, a familiar smell that has alerted you whenever Karkat was nearby.

He's close by, and unharmed- judging by the lack of candy red- which to you is a relief.

A new smell is suddenly invading your sniffnode; a pleasant, velvety black, with undertones of oily, vicious intent. The smell of the strange, bark-beast-like creature.

It's coming towards you.

You can sense its closeness; you're not going to react in time. You shouldn't have let yourself get distracted like that.

There is a strange flurry, multiple colours light up in your mind, you feel yourself pushed and you fall, uninjured, to the ground.

It seems something distracted the creature.

There is a furious cry from the others and you sit up carefully; the creature's attention is no longer focused on you. It suddenly has multiple other, curiously more enraged trolls to deal with.

You frown, then freeze as the smell hits your sniffnode.

Bright, cherry-apple red.

* * *

Your name is KARKAT VANTAS and you have had an INTERESTING REVELATION.

There are varying degrees of pain when dying.

The first time, after your battle with that strange beast that succeeded in killing you; you discovered a painful death; you had thought nothing could hurt more. But once you had been placed on your Quest Cacoon (you're still not entirely sure how that happened, Terezi claims she didn't do anything) the pain had lessened to uncomfortable. You had been killed a few times in various other fights, and it hurt, but not as bad as the first time.

Now however you have a new, more painful experience in your repertoire.

You can feel the life ebbing out of you; it feels like there are claws raking out your insides, dragging any vitality you might have had away. You can't bring yourself to move, you find you don't particularly feel you need to.

You can feel someone near you, clutching your shirt, shaking you, begging you to answer.

The voice sounds familiar, and you want to answer, you don't want to upset them

But you're tired.

You trust she'll be okay.

You guess being impaled in the act of pushing someone out of danger counts as a heroic death.

* * *

**I don't know how to write death scenes :P**

**Also Karkat died twice in this haha.**

**Well you know the saying!**

**If you love something, kill it.**

**Wait.**


	2. Part Two: KatNep

**And this is the second part which is admittedly shorter than the first.**

**If you didn't like Karezi and chose to skip over it in favour of merely reading the KatNep then I'll provide a quick summary.**

**Basically, this is a doomed timeline where Karkat (along with a lot of his friends) went God Tier. They never met the kids but they were killed by Jack (Karkat died jumping in front of Terezi as she had in fact ****_not_**** died on her Quest Cacoon). This story is basically a background thing for the thing in the actual webcomic. The page Roxy: Sleepwalk shows a Godtier!Karkt with Dreamer!Nepeta and Karkat is smiling, he has literally only smiled twice in the entire webcomic including that so it gave me a lot of emotiions and this happened. The ending of this fanfic is also based off canon, specifically the page Caliborn: Enter.**

**Anyways, basically, Karkat is now dead and dreambubbles and bluh.**

**I don't own Homestuck.**

**Warnings for language and major character death.**

**Yeah.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling arsenicCatnip [AC]

CG: HEY.

AC: :33 *ac perks up curiously*

AC: :33 *she wriggles her rear end a bit then chases something she s33s bounce into one of karkats shoes*

CG: KARKAT CAN'T BELIEVE HE HAD TO SINK THIS LOW.

GG: KARKAT CAN'T BELIEVE HE'S ASKING AN AUTISTIC GIRL IN A CAVE TO JOIN HIS TEAM.

CG: KARKAT MYSTIFIES IN INFINITE BEFUDDLEMENT OVER THE FACT THAT YOU ARE PRESENTLY THE BEST REMAINING CANDIDATE FOR THE RED TEAM.

AC: :33 *ac smiles then nods*

AC: :33 *i know, she says*

CG: YES AND KARKAT CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE THAT.

CG: KARKAT THINKS ABOUT THAT A BIT AND HIS JAW DROPS OPEN AND BREAKS A HUGE COLUMN OF BRICKS LIKE A FUCKING KUNG FU MASTER.

AC: :33 *ac gathers up all the brick pieces and builds a cute little house like her room on Derse*

CG: OK GOOD, IT'S GOOD THAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT BUILDING.

CG: EVEN IF IT'S IN THE MOST INANE POSSIBLE CONTEXT.

CG: WAIT

AC: :33 *ac tilts her head to one side cutely*

AC: :33 *ac asks karkat what's wrong? curiously*

CG: THIS ISN'T…

CG: THIS CONVERSATION ISN'T MEANT TO GO LIKE THIS.

CG: WAIT WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT MEANT TO MEAN?

CG: WHY THE FUCK DID I EVEN SAY THAT?

AC: :33 *ac purrs i was wondering when you'd realise*

CG: WAIT.

CG: REALISE WHAT?

CG: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON RIGHT NOW NEPETA?

AC: :33 go to the window

Your name is KARKAT VANTAS and you are currently incredibly confused as to what is going on. You are sitting in your respiteblock talking to NEPETA LEIJON about the game called SGRUB you both are about to play.

However, you are finding yourself rather fucking confused as to what the fuck is going on right now as a lot of things aren't making any fucking sense.

**Karkat: Go to the window**

It's a viewing glass you ignorant asshole.

You consider not going to the viewing glass because fuck that, you do what you want. But Nepeta hadn't even used roleplaying and that's a big fucking thing so you suppose you can humour her.

Even though it's fucking pointless.

You get to your hooves and walk to the viewing glass, peering out with only a little curiosity because what the fuck is the point in looking out there? The only thing you can see from your viewing glass is your lawn ring and you sure as fuck don't see any point in looking at that.

**Karkat: Realise why the autistic cat girl asked you to go to the viewing glass**

Oh.

You back away from the glass, turning to run out of your respiteblock.

**Karkat: Go outside**

You run out onto the lawn ring, coming to a stop in front of the troll girl who was currently standing there, wearing an odd, purple dress and a large smile. You think she is looking at you but her eyes are completely white so you have no real way of knowing.

You stare at her in disbelief, "Nepeta?"

* * *

Your name is KARKAT VANTAS and seriously what the fuck is going on at the moment?

"Okay bulgemuncher," you start, trying to adopt a commanding tone of voice to hide your confusion, "what the actual fuck is going on right now? What the fuck is going on with your eyes and why are you wearing that?" the troll girl sighs sadly, "why do you think Karkat?" she is speaking in an oddly sombre tone of voice and your feeling _really_ fucking confused because you've never heard Nepeta like this.

She is looking at you blankly, waiting for you to realise whatever the fuck it is you're supposed to realise.

You find yourself staring at her white eyes and wow, it's like she's a ghost or so- oh.

"You're… dead?"

She nods and you frown, "then why am I here? I…" you see her expression, oh, no, no fuck that, you weren't dead. You weren't _fucking_ _dead_. There's no way that that is a thing at all.

But Nepeta is.

Fuck.

**Karkat: Try to remember**

You don't know what you're trying to remember, you suppose it would be nice to know how you died and shit.

But you're coming up blank.

Nothing.

Fan-fucking-tastic.

"So you're… uh… dead then?" you wince at the word, worried that it might upset the girl, but she merely smiles and nods, "yeah."  
"If you don't mind me asking… how did it… you know, happen?"

Nepeta adopted a thoughtful expression, "we had won the session, at least, that's what I thought, then this creature with wing came out of our new universe, he looked a little like a bark-beast," she paused for a moment to hiss, "I _hate_ bark-beasts. Anyway, Aradia basically sent us away and the next thing I knew, I was waking up on Derse, but then that black bark-beast thing was there and before I could react… he… killed me," she peers at you, "I think he actually killed a lot of our dream selves."

You frown, that sounds rather familiar to be honest,

You open your mouth to say something (probably another string of crass expletives you have to admit) but whatever bile was about to surge forth from your protein chute dies as images begin to trickle into your thinkpan. Slowly at first, then all together like a flood until you're reeling from the memory overload.

Nepeta is staring at you in surprise when you regain your bearings and you look down to see that unfortunately familiar maroon and red on you.

"So you went God Tier?" you glance up at Nepeta, part of you wanting to roll your lookstubs and thank her for pointing out the obvious, but mostly, you are feeling a little too overwhelmed to worry about being impolite for once. So instead you simply tell her, "you did too," and her face lights up, "how purrfectly amazing," she giggles, and you do roll your lookstubs this time, because even if she's from another timeline, she's still the same Nepeta with her wiggler cat puns.

And for some reason, you find that reassuring.

* * *

Your name is KARKAT VANTAS and you are currently spending some time with your friend NEPETA LEIJON who you find yourself forced to admit, isn't nearly as bad as you thought she was before either of you died.

You find that you don't particularly mind that you have died, and though the idea that your other teammates probably reached the same fate as you is still upsetting, lately, you've been able to dwell on it less.

You are fairly certain that the reason for this is the cat girl next to you.

But that's completely beside the point.

**Karkat: Enjoy the moment**

You already are, surprisingly enough.

The grass is soft and the sky is blue and you are sitting together in amicable silence. You are not sure whose memory this place belongs to, you certainly don't remember anywhere as calming as this, but you find you don't particularly care.

You are leaning back on your hand, craning your neck to look up at the sky; Nepeta gets to her hoofs and runs off somewhere, only to return again moments later, "Karkat!" she calls and you look down towards her, raising your eyebrows in question. She leaps forward and grabs your hand, without a word she drags you to your feet and starts pulling you with her, you stumble, "fuck, Nepeta, be careful," she only giggles at you.

**Karkat: Wonder what the cat girl wants**

Why the fuck would you be such a stupid fuck and wonder about that when its clear she wants to show you something?

She drags you across the grass and you come to a stop at a cliff edge; she lets go of your hand and points (and okay fine, maybe you would have liked to hold her hand a little longer shut up). You look in the direction she is gesturing to see hilly land, flowers are dotted haphazardly through the fields and all in all, it makes a pretty picture.

Normally, you would have rolled your eyes, after all, you are aware that this is a rather pleasant dream bubble, but for some reason you don't. Nepeta is smiling, clapping her hands together in delight and you feel warm. You recognise this feeling- you're not a fucking moron after all. It's how you used to feel whenever you spoke to Terezi, it was something you never imagined you would feel for any troll other than her, but as always, past you is a fucking idiot and couldn't have been more wrong.

**Karkat: Pay attention to what's actually important**

You turn back to Nepeta to see that she is no longer even looking in your direction, you frown, wondering what could hold her attention so closely and follow her gaze up into the sky. Some weird, pink, troll-like being is floating past the two of you, it is wearing the purple of Derse and you wonder what the _fuck_ is up with that. A strange sound is carried to the two of you through the wind, a sound that reminds you a bit of snoring, and wow okay that's kind of fucked up. But whatever the fuck is up with that thing is not really any of your fucking business. You don't want to know.

You look back at Nepeta to see that she is still staring up at the weird, pink creature. Her lookstubs are wide open and her there is an expression of blatant curiosity on her face. You can't help but feel a little amused by that.

You don't know when it happened, or why, maybe it had started when you first saw her, when you first remembered and she was there to comfort you, maybe it was because out of everyone that the two of you have met through these dream bubbles, she was the only to stay with you, fuck, maybe it was because when you were alive you had never taken the chance to get to know her, and now you understood her a bit better.

You don't know why and you don't know when.

But at some point, for some reason, you ended up flushed for the autistic cat girl who lived in a cave.

You no longer felt a pain when you saw another doomed Terezi with someone else, you no longer thought of all the times you could have told her of your feelings, all the times you _should_ have told her of your feelings.

Because the only thing that matters now is Nepeta

And you're surprisingly okay with that.

You don't even notice the smile that has risen on your face.

* * *

When the two of you ran into Equius you had been surprised.

Not because it was Equius, heck you've run into your fair share of sweaty, creepy-ass fuckers in your time traversing the dream bubbles with Nepeta. The reason you were surprised was because it was _Nepeta's_ Equius. The one who had been killed by Bec Noir whose name you now knew courtesy of a doomed Terezi you had met (she kept going on about how it was her fault, she simply couldn't bring herself to kill her, of course, when you asked who she was talking about the troll girl apparently decided it was a good time to become annoyingly quiet so you never found out).

To be honest though, you couldn't say you were displeased about the sudden change of events.

Seeing the way Nepeta's face lit up when she realised, the way Equius smiled (which was something you hadn't seen a whole lot of before), watching as Nepeta hugged and Gog, they were just so fucking _pale_. It kind of made you want to vomit, but in a good way.

In the end, Equius stayed with the both of you (not that you had any doubt that he wouldn't) and suddenly two became three and it was as though it had never been any different.

If you didn't know better, you would say you were happy.

* * *

You've seen a fuckton of stuff with Nepeta and Equius, some of which you really would have preferred to not see to be honest, but oh well. If you were feeling truthful, you'd say that all the weird stuff you saw was still pretty amazing, simply because you got to see it with Nepeta (and to a lesser extent Equius; the guy was surprisingly less of an asshole than you initially thought, though that creepy fetish he has about being ordered it still fucking weird).

You find that issues concerning the game no longer worry you, they're Alpha Karkat's problem now and surprisingly, you don't mind that. The idea that there is nothing for you to do, it took a whole lot of time to sink into your thinkpan but once it did well, it had been a lot of weight of your shoulders.

You are currently standing with Nepeta and Equius, the three of you have met up with a few doomed troll from other timelines and for the first time you are meeting two of those weird pink trolls. Apparently they are called humans and they are from the universe you all created. You don't get what's up with their skin, you have no idea where their horns are and their teeth and claws are so blunt and unthreatening you're surprised that their species even survived long enough to evolve to the point of playing the game.

You are talking to one called John and another called Dave (and what the fuck is up with those names? Only four letters? Fucking weird), the Dave one seems to have a fondness for slam poetry, though he calls it something else, he insists on wearing fucking ridiculous shades to cover his eyes, as well and he's fucking infuriating. The human called John was annoying in his own way, from what you can gather, he enjoys playing pranks, telling jokes and was apparently killed by Terezi because she told him to do something that a fucking wiggler would know not to do and he did it. You think you maybe hate them a little, but in the platonic way you hate your friends because despite all of their flaws, they aren't_ that_ bad you think.

Like how Sollux is a complete bulgemuncher but yeah, he's still your friend.

Unfortunately.

Your eyes end up being drawn to the cat girl next to you, as they always are, Equius is on her other side, yet she's paying neither of you any attention as she speaks to the one called John eagerly, asking him about the other humans and what they are like. You just know that she's formulating new ships as they speak.

You reach out and intertwine your hand with hers before turning back to listen to the two males. The faintest of smiles lift the corner of your lips when you feel her tighten her grip on your hand.

You wonder if it is possible to simply stay in the dream bubbles forever, traversing them together with Nepeta and her moirail. You might even get a chance to meet some of your friends from your timeline. The ones you had all doomed.

You think that if you keep looking long enough you can find them, tell them that you're sorry. With Nepeta by your side you think you could do it. You could face them, even though you don't deserve to. You can do anything. If she's there with you.

You hear a sound and you turn around as you see a large light appearing in the not so far off distance. "What the fuck is that?" you hear the blonde- Dave- ask no one in particular. You are about to tell him that no one fucking knows Dave, you stupid little fucker, what were you expecting? but you are cut off when the creature lets out a terrifying roar.

For some reason, you are reminded of when you fought Bec Noir, that strange sense of wrongness and power. You are about to suggest to the others that you attack, or maybe you run, that you at least do _something_ instead of just standing around like a bunch of fucking sponge-dead nooksniffers.

You don't get a chance to say anything though.

Because at that point it turns its attention on all of you.

**Karkat: Fight.**

For once, you don't think that is going to do anything.

**Karkat: Run.**

It's too late.

You take a step back and reach for Nepeta's hand but then there's another roar and a flash of light travelling right for you and the others.

* * *

Your name is KARKAT VANTAS. With your matesprit NEPETA LEIJON and her moirail EQUIUS ZAHHAK you have been travelling the DREAM BUBBLES for an UNKNOWN AMOUNT OF TIME as that particular aspect holds no weight here. You had been hoping to find the trolls from your DOOMED SESSION and apologise to them for failing them. You had been hoping to stay with Nepeta forever and maybe move on from everything that had happened. You had been hoping that maybe you could be happy.

But your hand can't find hers.

And everything is burning and bright lights.

You don't know where she is anymore.

You should have realised a mutant reject like yourself could never be happy.

You couldn't save anyone.

* * *

**Someone take my laptop away from me until I learn how to properly write.**

**Ugh.**

**Really not all that happy with this.**

**Bluh bluh.**

**Whatever.**

**Hope you guys liked it and stuff.**


End file.
